DECIDING NOT TO GO TO SLEEP

Why Im Not Asleep

There are plenty of reasons why i wouldnt be asleep at the proper time. I drink coffee at 8pm. I see the light up marquee across the street. I open my window and hear laughing children, revving engines, police sirens, and drunken gossip. I go outside. I dance. I figure out what to wear. I listen to music. I order drinks. I go to the bathroom. I love to see the streets empty. I lay in bed awake. I love others.I scroll on my phone. I lounge . I type on my computer.

There are so many ways to ruin a night's sleep. Staying up is more important than rest in our society. When I was younger, I loved to sleep - it was my demise to wake up for school or wake up early on a weekend day for any reason. now as I enter adulthood, I see the value of what I was doing much more, because I dont experience that same guilt-free restfulness. I wonder how deeply these sleepless nights will bite me in the future. I have seen people in my own life subject to restlessness and I can see in their face how it affects them as time passes. Surely the accumulated stress weighs down on you....

Im grateful to have not been disgnosed with a serious sleep disorder. Much of the deprivation put on myself has been self-inflicted, and what is strange to me is that I am fine with the adverse health risks of a sleepless night if it means that I get to have an experience. I remember challenging myself to stay awake for 24 hours as a young child, and i think about how i wasnt really DOING anything during those late night hours except for trying to avoid going to sleep. as an adult, I dont have to challenge myself to have the experiences i was longing for as a child - there are many things I can do that will easily contest a night of resting.

I wonder what a lifestyle would look like without any triggers to our sleep - would it be boring? What if humans were conditioned to sleep upon need as animals do? I wonder if life would be as exciting. I wonder what the adaptation process would look like if we eliminated some factors in our lives that prevent us from sleeping.